Firefighters Manual Detailing Response to Attack by Extraterrestrials

News report showing firefighter's manual which gives instruction to first responders for dealing with possible UFO attack.

Views: 104

Comment by Sinclair on May 31, 2011 at 7:28pm

Emergency responders now have a plan to respond to the crisis of an alien invasion. Jim Mann from MUFON comments:

"this just goes to show you that serious professional people are starting to take this whole subject of UFOs and ETs... that they're starting to take this seriously."


What is really being taken seriously is an all out campaign to convince the majority of people that there are advanced lifeforms somewhere out there and they've shown up here. The terrorist threat of the future, right?


It's all over fiction recently, of course, but fiction only goes so far. What will really make the difference is Authorities taking it seriously or at least seeming like they do. I'm pretty sure firefighters will be relatively useless in combating fallen angels.

Comment by Cyprium on June 1, 2011 at 4:53pm
Lol...good one Barry. That's pretty much the only result that could come of firefighters' plans to combat those "aliens". Just look at the "oh crap" on his face.

Comment by Bean on June 2, 2011 at 4:04pm
that definitely doesn't look like what that guy was expecting.. i agree people in general seem to be OK with whatever fill-in-the-blank demands made against them as long as it's OK with some official person.. doctors.. judges.. police.. firefighters.. i'm just waiting to see the 'alien attack survival kits'

Comment by Bean on June 4, 2011 at 2:47pm

Alien Attack Survival Kit


1. Get your parents, pets and any members of the older generation out of the house pronto. The last thing you need when you're combating hostile aliens, is your mum and dad asking: 'What's all that noise up there?!'


2. Assemble anything you can think of that might make a good weapon. The garage is a good place to start - think garden equipment, paint guns, bubble machines, catapults, marbles etc. Often the simplest things can be turned into brilliant alien-toppling devices.


3. Armour up. Got a bicycle helmet? Put it on. Any rollerblading protective gear? That'll be good too. You never know what kind of toxic, flesh-eating slime, creatures from outer space might squirt at you.


4. Rally together a hit team of reliable brothers-in-arms. Ideally you need to get the following types of people on board: a muscle-head (make sure he goes first at all times), a gadget nerd (to identify alien equipment and dismantle it if necessary), an expert in communications (who can try to negotiate with the critters - try French class) and a few other impressionable kids who look up to you and will anything their told.


5. Assign everyone on the team a title. This is important as it gives them a sense of responsibility. Make yourself Commander in Chief and nominate a Deputy Chief, a General, an Explosives Expert, a Communications officer and a Head of Recon. Badges are a good idea too.


6. Choose a secure look-out point from which to stake out the aliens. It's important to observe your enemy and get as much intel on them as possible, so that you can get the upper hand. Ideally, you need somewhere that's high up and well hidden so that you can study your enemy from a distance with binoculars.


7. Expect the unexpected. When it comes to aliens, you never know what kind of hi-tech, otherworldly weapons and devices they might have in their artillery. They could have gravity boots that mean they can scale walls and ceilings, memory controllers that could put you into a trance at the flick of a switch, or holo-projectors that mean they can duplicate themselves and trick you. So, you need to always be on your guard.


8. Decide on an emergency code - something that's easy to remember and easy to shout clearly. You'll need this in case of the worst-case scenario: one of you is taken hostage. Make sure everyone knows the code, and what to do when the alarm is raised ie. Run for your lives - and call the Police.


9. Keep reminding yourself of the first rule of the warrior code: 'All enemies have a weakness.'


10. This one isn't essential, and obviously fighting aliens is no holiday, but if possible, try to record some of the events on camera. Capture an alien on film and you might just make your fortune!

Alien Attack Survival Kit

  • Duct tape
  • Batteries
  • Flashlight
  • Wireless webcam
  • Remote control car
  • Laptop
  • Binoculars
  • A big box of snacks
..well.. some of that advice might be good.. but we'll be opting for the holy bible and anointing oil combo ;-)

Comment by Sinclair on June 4, 2011 at 4:40pm

1. Cardio

2. Doubletap


Oh, wait, that's zombies.

Comment by Cyprium on June 9, 2011 at 6:08pm

Lol... that might come off like a pretty fringe question but there is a valid subject in the idea of host bodies produced for the use of spirit to facilitate what would look for all the world like a real alien invasion. Perhaps not in the form of dwarves or elves...but...something which actually Seems alien (though probably Spock won't show up).


This man mentions 118...others have stated different numbers. Scientifically speaking the technology exists to literally create monsters. Just about any chimera combination you can imagine can be done... the only thing standing between "can be" and "has been" are the highly questionable moral boundaries which exist in these scientific fields.

 Anything could be used as "pre-fab" host bodies for spiritual invaders...nothing could be quite as perfectly deceptive and convincing to those expecting extraterrestrials than physical bodies which do look wholy "alien". Ironically the alien looking bodies would be the most terrestrial thing about them.

Examinations of what are called "greys" have returned the results that they consits largely of undeveloped human anatomy with only small variations pointing to the insertion of insect genetics.

Comment by Cyprium on June 9, 2011 at 6:37pm all the fallen angels were male so even if it LOOKS like a cute girl...well..that's a bad surprise. O.o.

Comment by Cyprium on June 9, 2011 at 7:35pm
Leave it to Schwarzenegger.... i'm not completely convinced he isn't an alien himself.

Comment by Bean on June 11, 2011 at 4:21pm


You need to be a member of Time No Longer to add comments!

Join Time No Longer

© 2021   Created by Cyprium.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service