Tobit 6:15 - 17 - "But the angel said to him, "Do you not remember the words with which your father commanded you to take a wife from among your own people? Now listen to me, brother, for she will become your wife; and do not worry about the demon, for this very night she will be given to you in marriage. When you enter the bridal chamber, you shall take live ashes of incense and lay upon them some of the heart and liver of the fish so as to make a smoke. Then the demon will smell it and flee away, and will never again return. And when you approach her, rise up, both of you, and cry out to the merciful Elohim, and he will save you and have mercy on you. Do not be afraid, for she was destined for you from eternity. You will save her, and she will go with you, and I suppose that you will have children by her." When Tobias heard these things, he fell in love with her and yearned deeply for her."

The purpose of me writing this is to take a look into what the scripture says about falling in love, sex, sexuality, and immoral sexual activity. I am attempting to get a better understanding of what is natural sexual practice, the kind that was seen as "good" in the garden of Eden, and unnatural or immoral sexual practice which is the pollution of sex's original purposes. I am not going to get into things that are clearly sexually prohibited by the scripture such as engaging in sexual activities to honor idols (Deuteronomy 23:17), or incest and adultery, and most other obvious sexually immoral behavior much of which can be found in Leviticus 20:10-21, and Paul's letters.

I am going to first attempt to prove using scripture that sex in itself, and especially between a married couple for reproductive purposes is not sinful. This is in response to those that claim the very act is sinful.

Genesis 1:27-28 - "Elohim created man in His own image, in the image of Elohim He created him; male and female He created them. Elohim blessed them; and Elohim said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

Sex between partners, or married couples was commanded by Yah with the words "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth". Then three verses later it is written

Genesis 1:31 - "Elohim saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day."

At this point in the scripture all of Yah's creation, including the union between man and woman which produces children was called good.

Genesis 2:18 - "Then YHWH Elohim said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper (Ephesians 5:21-33) suitable for him."

Genesis 2:20-24 - The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So YHWH Elohim caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. YWHW Elohim fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Woman is a suitable helper using the logic that since Adam did not have one Yah reacted by creating woman which suggests the creation was in response to Adams lack of a suitable helper.

Now after the fall of creation, right before Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden the scripture says this

Genesis 3:16 - To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."

This verse suggest that Yah knew that sexual relations would continue, and that women would have romantic feelings or "desire" their husbands. The pain that comes from childbirth is a punishment. I believe the irony here is even though women know that there will be pain in having children they still crave their husbands. Men and women today know that there will be pain in most if not all romantic relationships they are involved in. Knowing this they still desire one another, and overlook what they know is coming because they feel its worth it.

At the end of Genesis 3 Adam and Eve are expelled from the garden. The very first verse of the next chapter reads

Genesis 4:1 - Now the man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain, and she said, "I have gotten a man-child with the help of YHWH."

The very next mention of the couple reports their sexual activity, and that Yah has generously allowed fruits to be produced from the act suggesting He didn't consider the act evil. I have quoted these Genesis verses to support my argument that Marriage isn't a sin, and neither is the act of sex, although there are exceptions that I will discuss in a while.
What about recreational sex? Sex that isn't happening because the participants want to have children? As it is I do not currently know any scripture that suggests it is sinful. There is scripture that I believe suggests its helpful perhaps because it relieves the person of a passion that might be stopping them from pursuing spiritual matters. The scripture comes from St. Paul

1 Corinthians 7:1-9 - Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from Elohim, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

I would say most people have a "lack of self-control". These verses suggest to me that one of the many roles spouses must play is fire extinguisher. One of their duties is to relieve their loved ones of burning sexual desire so that their minds can be clear for other matters.

There are those who say that polygamy is backed by the bible. No Christian can deny that many biblical men had multiple wives. Abraham had two wives, Jacob had four. But there are reasons behind this. Solomon had many wives, and concubines. I am not saying these men were perfect, I am saying that Abraham perhaps had two wives to fulfill the prophecy

Genesis 13:16 - "I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered."

and that Jacob had multiple wives so the house of Israel and the twelve tribes could enter the scene. Of course one woman could have twelve children, but then perhaps certain events wouldn't have occurred if all twelve brothers were full brothers such as the mistreatment of Joseph. I don't understand why Yah chooses to do things the way He does, but there is reason and purpose behind His actions, and the way things come about. What I am trying to get at is there are specific divine purposes for these polygamist relationships. Originally in the garden of Eden it was one man and one woman. That is what was called "good" before the fall of creation. Yah created Adam, and Eve, and called it "good" not Adam, Eve, Brenda, Gina, Maria, and Tina.

One way Sex is tainted by sin is when a person becomes objectified. When the person's humanity is removed in the eyes of the one who lusts. If ones only intention with another is to use the person for sexual gratification their sexual act becomes tainted by sin. The law and the prophets is summed up as so

Matthew 22:35-40 - "One of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, " `YOU SHALL LOVE YHWH YOUR Elohim WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' "This is the great and foremost commandment. "The second is like it, `YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

When a man gets a prostitute He sins by lusting after her, and she sins by only wanting his money. They are using each other, and care nothing for each other. The same goes in the strip club, and the night club where it is easy to find yourself in a one night stand because you and another were attracted to each other. Sometimes "friends" will start having sex with each other, but deep inside they both know that there is a good chance one of them will start falling in love. This will cause pain if the feeling isn't mutual (which it often isn't). These situations too are not loving based on the fact the parties know that potentially one of them can seriously be hurt. Is not heartbreak one of the worst pains? In regards to multiple partners I quote St. Paul

Romans 13:13 - "Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy."

My conclusions based on my understanding of the scripture is that sex is good, but can become a tool of the devil. Sex can be used to love, and ease the passion of a spouse bringing the two closer, or it can be used as a tool to control, manipulate, and use causing harm to another soul. I believe that sex should be practiced between a man and woman who are in love with each other, and probably married or at least intend on getting married. I would like any scripture reference that teaches that sex MUST be between married couples, because obviously I don't want to preach a false doctrine. I am not preaching that it is ok to have pre-marital sex, all I am saying is I don't recall at the moment scripture that forbids people who plan to be together forever having sex. I will quote scripture that might strongly suggest one may not want to sleep around

1 Corinthian 6:12-20 - "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but Elohim will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for YHWH, and YHWH is for the body. Now Elohim has not only raised the Master, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Messiah? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." But the one who joins himself to YHWH is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from Elohim, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify Elohim in your body."

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excellent study

The model of marriage in scripture is really only defined as coming together sexually and living together. There is no biblical example of a required ritual except proving virginity where one expects to be marrying a virgin. The crime in sexual union where the man then leaves the woman and does not bring her into his home is obvious where scripture shows that these men are obliged to pay the price for that woman and marry her, never divorcing her all his days.

If a man find a damsel [that is] a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty [shekels] of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days. - Deuteronomy 22:28,29

Most would be far less likely to be indiscriminate in their sexual lives if they knew they would have to support every woman they ever slept with for the rest of their lives.

I was reminded as a kid when we were learning about the "sexual" side of life and the saying " well, they are married in the eyes of God" : how profound we were at age 8 and how stupid by age 15.

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