Deborah means "the bee"; spiritually this means "Seeking One". In 1999 my life verse became "And you shall seek me, and find me, when you shall search for me with all your heart." Je 29:13
"Wherefore, my beloved, as you always have obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." Philippians 2:12
My husband married a Christian Conservative Republican who believed she espoused all the correct doctrines and rhetoric. We were married in the church and attended church all the years of raising our children.
I have always lived contrary to this world's notions, not necessarily consciously or deliberately, but more by compulsion. When I took exception to the treatment of my eldest son in public school, I chose to homeschool the younger two. I will always maintain that I was the real student. It was during the years of homeschooling that I was privileged to meet and hear Dean Gotcher speaking about his paper:
Dialectic and Praxis: Diaprax and the End of the Ages First encounter with truth.
If I knew, previously, that I was not like others, it was at this time that I began to understand and accept that this was so. It was becoming more difficult for me to maintain the Christian Conservative Republican facade within my home, with my husband and children.
"...the author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance." Oswald Chambers
I have always lived contrary to this world's notions, not necessarily consciously or deliberately, but more by compulsion. When I took exception to the treatment of my eldest son in public school, I chose to homeschool the younger two. I will always maintain that I was the real student. It was during the years of homeschooling that I was privileged to meet and hear Dean Gotcher speaking about his paper:
Dialectic and Praxis: Diaprax and the End of the Ages
When our youngest child graduated, I stopped going to church. My sense of truth made the dribble peddled at church intolerable. My cancer diagnosis in 2003 which saw my pastors indicate that they had more faith in the medical establishment than God was the beginning of the end of my traditional church experience. Having little faith in the medical community, I went looking for alternatives to the widely-accepted practices of surgery, radiation and chemotherapy. What I found confirmed what I believed, causing outrage and anger. Truth. I was slipping off the slope: if the medical establishment, the pharmaceutical industry and the food industry sanctioned by the government could perpetrate such lies and deception against the people, and we believed it, then what else was lies and deception? When you are ready and willing to ask the question, be prepared. The floodgates will open and be unstoppable.
Certain that faith in God was not the same as faith in the medical community, I began reading Tolstoy and found myself agreeing with him that our Bible, and ultimately the Christian religion, had been hijacked. More truth. My continued reading about alternative cancer cures introduced me to
Dr. Lorraine Day And when I heard her as a guest on
The French Connection, I went to her site and began reading her postings of Biblical and political truth, which were paralleling what I was hearing and reading at The French Connection.
I am a truth seeker. And, God has never failed me.
So today I find myself believing in the seventh-day Sabbath and giants. And I am wondering how others who have been led to this truth deal with family members who just aren't ready to hear this. How do you keep a Saturday Sabbath with a family who has been honouring Sunday? Even if I don't expect them to accept my tenets, is it reasonable to expect that they should honour my request to live true to my conscience? My husband didn't marry a woman of this belief; how is this fair? I homeschooled my children to raise them according to the tenets of my faith and ultimately taught them everything I no longer believe. With such confessions I am destroying the foundation upon which our marriage and the lives of our children have been built.
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