This is what results from mind control abuse and ritual abuse. He's asked why his head hurts so much and never really answers, but the reason is because rapid switching does this to you. It's as if the brain is being battered about in the skull with the switches. Had the therapist any idea of what she was doing, she probably would have been more careful in inducing the switches.

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A very enlightening, though disturbing, read.

Caution - do not read if you may be subject to triggering.

There is some use of profanity

It was translated into English so is not grammatically perfect.

https://fepijn.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/even-the-light-was-dark/

this is really good for understanding a first-person view of dissociation.

"I do not receive any help for this.  

I hope this story might contribute to a better understanding of a difficult life, dominated by such experiences."

"Know Who You Are at Any Age"

It seems things are indictive to
A distinct desire to observe such, heal such
Behave such that makes this hard for me

I'm not real and I deny
I won't heal unless I cry
I can't grieve, so I won't grow
I won't heal till I let it go

I'm not real and I deny
I won't heal unless I cry

It seems things are indictive to
A distinct desire to observe such, heal such
Behave such that makes this hard for me

I'm not real and I deny
I won't heal unless I cry
I cant grieve, so I won't grow
I won't heal till I let it go

I'm not real and I deny
I won't heal unless I cry
I can't grieve, so I won't grow
I won't heal till I let it go

Cry, cry, cry till you know why
I lost myself, identify
Cry, cry, cry till you know why
I lost myself, identify

I'm not real and I deny
I won't heal unless I cry
I can't grieve, so I won't grow
I won't heal till I let it go

Liz Fraser, Cocteau Twins

baby steps...

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